Backlash: Get Your Jaws Off My Brains

I suppose that a backlash against the zombie rights movement was inevitable. Too many people are entrenched in the old ways of doing things. I think the last straw, though, really was when the undead contingent, enheartened by the recent victory of the gay rights movement, starting demanding the right to marry the living. As Undead Lord Stephen Halpert put it in a stirring speech on the steps of the capitol today, "Arrrgghh grrrwrargh mmgpmph argh BRAINS". I couldn’t agree more.

But the counter protests were in full swing. These costumed folks were decidedly opposed to equal rights for the dead:

"Adam and Eve", the one sign reads. "Not Adam and GGGBLAAAAGGH" in an obvious riff on the anti-gay-rights signs I’ve seen. Not very imaginative, but it gets the point across. I’m not sure, though, why this guy felt the need to dress up as a pirate.

I do like the sign that says, "These colors don’t lurch!" I suppose that’s true. The US Armed Forces have never been big on employing the dead in their ranks. Just another way, I guess, that the US has fallen short.

Curiously, there is a zombie in the ranks of the counter protesters. I guess there’s always one in every minority group who thinks that things ought to be that way. How does he justify it to himself? Does he? Does he even have the mental capacity to do so?

This guy in downtown Sacramento had a strong point to make:

The problem, though, is that it’s a tautology. "Zombies Stay Dead". Well, yeah. Isn’t that kind of the point?

At any rate, while there are reports that the zombie armies have taken most of the rest of the United States, including Georgia, and there are even rumors that Davis, a mere twenty miles away from the capitol, has been utterly overrun by zombie students (though in my mind that’s just a redundancy, especially if they’re graduate students), the California Assembly and Legislature have been meeting in an emergency session with the Governor. There are serious issues to be addressed: the ongoing budget crisis, the drought, the faltering state of the economy, the wildfires, and, of course, the rights of the walking dead.

It’s going to be a long night, I think.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.