It’s a good thing that Jennifer and I don’t have kids. Among the many reasons we’ve chosen not to is because they would be so very messed up. Consider this cartoon from today’s Rhymes with Orange:
See, this is exactly the sort of thing I’d do to them. With glee.
Speaking of which, my next Story of the Week is installment one of a new series: “Terrible Tales for Tiny Trolls”. And probably not suited for children, despite the cool name.
I have two kids and that was exactly my fear prior to having them: That I would be worse for them than any amount of television, advertising, explicit lyrics or peers could be. I had ideas of keeping them up all night and having them sleep through the day so they’d be nocturnal or speaking only Klingon around them for the first 5 years.
Actually, I have a friend who says that his goal is for each of his kids to require at least seven years of therapy.