A few weeks ago, the good friend who had introduced me to Jennifer in the first place asked me how the two of us were getting along.

I hesitated for some time, not looking directly at him.

Finally, he said to me, "Not that good, eh?"

To which I replied, "Oh, no, it’s not that. I’m just trying to figure out how to say it without descending into disgusting mush that would make you sick."

"Oh, lay it on me, Rich. I can take it."

So finally I said, "Well, it’s like this. Jennifer fills a Jennifer-shaped hole in my heart that I never even knew was there."

Well, so there it is. Sometimes a person fits with you so completely that you can’t even conceive of not having that person there in your life with you: like two picture-puzzle pieces that fit together so perfectly that you can’t even tell that there is a seam there at all. It’s hard to describe such feelings without getting mushy and goofy.

I’ve known Jennifer for over two years at this point; and during that entire time, I’ve been attracted to her, and thought she was one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. I even remember thinking, on the day that we met at a Dungeons and Dragons game, "That’s the woman I’m going to marry someday.

Of course, two years passed before anything happened. At times I was involved with someone else; and at other times, she was. There were times when we were both single, but neither of us was ready. But when Jennifer and I got together in April, and when we got engaged in May, it was right; sometimes, these things are. I’ve never doubted, for an instant, that Jennifer was the perfect match for me.

Other people did have doubts, though. I remember that her parents were concerned when they heard the news; after all, they had only met me once prior to our breaking the news to them, and that had been three weeks before, and I had been introduced to them as Jennifer’s "friend" — which was true, since on that night Jennifer and I weren’t anything more than friends. My own parents were a bit more prepared for the shock, having met Jennifer at least once before in the context of us being a "couple" (actually, this is a misstatement — when they heard the news, my mom shouted, "YAHOO!!" and my dad said something along the lines of, "It’s about damned time!").

Jennifer and I have never had any doubts. But to help others around us who might have had any doubts, last weekend we attended an Engaged Encounter weekend, a weekend designed for couples like us who are planning to get married. We went in prepared for some hard questions and difficult discussions, some serious examination into our own relationship. We thought we’d discussed all of the issues, we thought we were pretty well-prepared.

We still do. The weekend held no surprises for us; during all of our intense discussions, we found ourselves facing questions and issues that we had already faced before; both of us are people who like to have plans, who like to know what issues are going to come up and how they might be dealt with. So none of what we discussed at Engaged Encounter revealed anything new to either of us; we’d discussed issues of long-term career planning, finances, family, religion, end-of-life issues, and more.

This is not to say that the weekend was valueless to us, though. In the midst of our insane schedules, it was important that we take some time away from our computers, our cell phones, and our jobs to make time for us. We both agree that this relationship is our number one priority in our lives, and nothing should get in the way of that. But more importantly, it was good for us to be with other couples who were discussing the same issues we were discussing, and to share some of our experiences with them, and to gain some insights into some of their own solutions to particular issues. We settled the question of finances over the weekend, for example, with some help from another couple that had worked out a good solution that we think might work for us.

Love is probably blind. We’re trying to enter this with our eyes wide open, though; I think one of the reasons we’ve been able to make this work is the full knowledge that things won’t always be perfect. There will be times when we fight, when we get frustrated or angry with each other, and so on. Every marriage, they say, has its good years and its bad years. What’s more important for us, we both figure is not that we try to make every year a good year, but that we know how to deal with the bad years (and we both know that if we make it all the way through this coming year, we’ll be able to make it through anything).

But what it really boils down to for me, and what, ultimately, is the only thing I need to know, is that I love Jennifer. More than anything. Whether we’re speeding down the highway, late to Engaged Encounter, laughing hysterically as we sing along with Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Suite, or dancing clumsily in the computer room to "The Lion Sleeps" by the Nylons, or planning our future together, or being grateful that we both are inheriting wonderful in-laws, or simply holding each other late at night, the love I feel for Jennifer never falters and never wavers. Marrying Jennifer makes me the luckiest man alive.

There’s that hole in my heart that I never even knew existed; it was made for Jennifer, and now she’s here to fill it. How could it have ever been empty?