A Musical Holiday

I figured I’d make this a post about some of my favorite Christmas songs. So here you go.

Up first is “The Season’s Upon Us” by Dropkick Murphys, a lovely Irish punk band out of Boston:

I was planning on seeing them when they came to Sacramento with Flogging Molly a while back, but then it slipped my mind what with being laid off and all, and I forgot, and now I has a sad.

Next is “White Winter Hymnal”.

This is, of course, the Pentatonix version. The original is by a British band called Fleet Foxes. I kind of prefer this version (though I like the FF video better). When I first heard this song, I assumed right away it was British, since it’s full of strange, haunting imagery, which I know can be full of this sort of imagery. Particular post-War Britain. Man, the Great War did some horrific things to the British mindset. Turns out I was wrong, though. Fleet Foxes just made up the imagery themselves.

Next, “A Christmas Canon” by Trans-Siberian Orchestra because why not:

A couple of years ago my parents gave Jennifer and me tickets to see this group in person at the Golden One arena in Sacramento. They put on a hell of a show, with flames and fireworks and fiddlers in the scaffolding. The recordings I’ve heard just don’t do the show justice. If you ever get a chance to see them live, DO NOT MISS IT.

Next: “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues. Why? Because who doesn’t love the Pogues? Well, lots of people, I suppose. But this song, despite some of its questionable lyrics, is still one of my favorites. You might want to skip this one.

Among some of my friends, this is the quintessential holiday song. I hang out with these friends when I’m feeling too cheerful and need to be brought down a bit.

Finally, a parody song called “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fishmen”, by the H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society. I don’t know if this is an official video or not, but I think it’s pretty silly:

Fun fact: I’m a fan of H. P. Lovecraft, although I find his sexism and blatant racism and classism problematic at best. I know he felt he should have been born in England a hundred years before he actually was born. I sometimes feel the same way, though I know I’d miss some elements of the modern day, such as medicines that keep my lungs breathing and my brain working properly.

I still don’t quite “get” the secular Christmas holiday, and sometimes it grates on my nerves, but some of the music is pretty spiffy.

Bonus video: Here’s the Fleet Foxes video for “White Winter Hymnal”:

The video, I think, is very sad. I’m especially touched by the guy who’s holding the bunny, hiding its eyes from the inevitable march of time, and who then despairs that the bunny has disappeared from his lap.

That’s all I got for tonight.

Happy Holidailies to you.

Next!

As I mentioned before, I was recently laid off from my job of fifteen years. I wasn’t all that upset, though sometimes I miss my co-workers. These things happened, and, to be honest, I’d sort of seen it coming from a few yards away. I enjoyed the work there and I’m glad I was part of the organization. I’m still in touch with a few of my ex-coworkers, too, which makes me happy. I don’t quite have a full-time job yet, but I’m confident. For now, I’ve been working as a contract worker for a minuscule little company who is shrouded in secrecy, not because it’s a skunk-ops government operation or part of a grand conspiracy, but because it’s a startup in its infancy. The pay is good, the hours are good, and the work is especially enjoyable. In particular, it’s getting things working on a Linux server, and making  different pieces of software talking to each other. And it’s in a field that always needs better technology, so I’m happy to be a part of it. What happens next? There’s definitely more to be seen. In other news, the holidays are upon us. I have to admit that there are times when I don’t quite “get” Christmas. It’s the season of caring, of sharing, of… something else that rhymes with “caring”, and so on, but I don’t get why this should be different than any other time of year. I mean, I do get it from a spiritual perspective (and here’s the Episcopalian in me coming out): it’s the season celebrating the birth of Jesus, the day when God became manifest on Earth. But the tinsel, the lights, the reindeer, the “ho ho ho”? All of it baffles me. It’s not that I don’t participate. We put up a Christmas tree in our house, put lights on the outside, and put funny hats on the cats, where’s the spiritual significance in all that? The secular holiday of Christmas is for kids, I think. To the rest of it, I say Bah! Humbug.
Oh! And, happy Holidailies!

Haven’t done one of these for awhile

It’s a writing update! Yay!

I must admit that one of the first thoughts I had when I was laid off was not, “How are we going to make ends meet?” but, “Oooh, lots of time to write now!”

But the reality is that hunting for work has taken up more time than I intended or expected, whether it’s wandering around the job hunting websites, updating resumes on these sites, responding to emails, sending out emails, making and receiving phone calls, and, of course, going to interviews. Although I schedule time in the afternoons to get some writing done, it just usually doesn’t happen.

The words are still getting out, though.

It’s November, which, of course, means it’s National Novel Writing Month. I decided to be a “rebel” this years; in other words, instead of writing an original 50,000 word novel this month, I’m instead revising Padma, the novel I wrote for NaNoWriMo in 2016. I’m finding it’s difficult to do so, though. While I’m comfortable with the mythological and cosmological elements I’ve included, there’s a lot of medical information — specifically, hospital procedures and what it’s like to be a medical student — that I don’t know anything about. So I need to do more research than I had originally done. Fortunately I have some resources — and people I know who either work or have worked in hospitals — who can give me some tips and pointers.

I am stalled on a couple of short stories I’d hoped to get written. “Sauromancy” needs to be revised. And I need to finish “Mossroot”. I’m particularly annoyed by “Mossroot” since I’d hoped to finish that one before November so I could submit it to the Unlocking the Magic anthology. Alas, I did not. I think it’s a good idea, though, so I’m going to keep working on it.

Oh! And The Solitude of the Tentacles Space Monster continues apace. Though I’m getting fewer words in on that than I’d like, it’s still happening. I hope to have a draft done by January.

My really spiffy news is that my short story “Burying Uncle Albert” received Honorable Mention from the Writers of the Future contest. Yay! I’m aware of the controversies surrounding that particular contest, but I still think this is cool. This honor is for the Fourth Quarter contest, so it won’t actually show up on the website until January, I think, but still. Neat-o.

That’s all I’ve got for now. I probably won’t post again until after Thanksgiving, so I hope you have a splendid holiday!

About that fire

First of all, I’ve been listening to Taylor Swift’s album 1989 pretty much constantly over the past day. Not sure why. I like many of the songs on the album, and I make no apologies for my musical tastes. Judge me if you will, I won’t care.

Second, I’m sure you’re aware that California is basically on fire right now. It has nothing to do with forest management; it has to do with several years of drought, unfortunate wind patterns, and an increasingly warming planet. Yes, climate change is a big factor here. When northern California is under assault from the worst fire in history, and southern California is also in flames, it’s hard not to think that climate change might be a factor.

Paradise, California, is pretty much gone at this point. I don’t have much to do with Paradise, having only driven through it once, and having once had a college roommate who came from there. Other towns have been wiped off the map because of these fires. Chico is in danger, and I do have family there.

Donations are welcome. From what I hear, material donations are overflowing right now and what disaster relief groups and survivors really need is money, so please bear that in mind.

The smoke from the Camp Fire is spreading through northern California as well. The Bay Area is smoked out. In my neighborhood, according to SpareTheAir.com and purpleair.com, the air quality index went up to the 400s yesterday, which means the air is hazardous. Today is slightly better. The air is no longer hazardous, just “very unhealthy”. What does that mean for people with asthma, like me? It means stay indoors as much as possible. And wear a mask if you absolutely MUST go outside. Which you should not really do.

So yeah. I’m wheezing a lot, coughing a lot, and drinking lots of water, taking Mucinex, and so on, all to discourage my lungs from taking the opportunity to inflict me with bronchitis or worse.

It’s bad out there, folks.

If you’ve been affected by the fires in any way, my heart is with you. My asthma may be flaring up, but that’s nothing compared to losing your home, your family, your pets, everything. I can’t imagine what that would be like.

 

A Wee Little Post

I love this quote from Neil DeGrasse Tyson:

“For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You’d be surprised how far that gets you.”

I think this is a good guidepost for living life, so I am going to work it into my own daily living.

An Update, and some more philosophical musings

First of all, I’m sad to report that I’ve been laid off from my job of fifteen years. It was a good job, and I know the decision was hard for management to make, I got a good severance package from the University, and all in all it was… Well, it was painful, but I would say it was amicable. The department and I met up a couple of weeks after the event for a farewell get-together, and I feel like I got some good closure to that chapter in my life. I’m still sad, though.

What’s next? I’m not sure. Definitely looking for a new job (and if you check out my resume, you’ll get a good idea of my skill set). Waiting to see what happens next.


It’s Halloween time, of course, which is my favorite time of year. I like scary stories, Jack-o-lanterns, ghosts, all that silly stuff. And it means there’s a lot more scary stuff to consume. Specifically, lots of scary content on Netflix and Amazon Prime.

Last night, in particular, I watched a few episodes of an original Netflix show called Haunted. Basically, it has people sitting with friends and family and recounting horrifying events from their pasts. For example, the first episode, entitled “The Woman in White”, was about a man’s life-long experience with the ghost of a woman from an apartment he and his family had lived in when he was a child. His telling is interspersed with reenactments of the events. The makeup on the ghost was well-done, and the way she simply appeared in the kid’s closet were really spooky. Well done as far as that goes.

It was the episode on alien abduction that really struck me, though. I’ve been fascinated by the concept of alien abductions for many years; not because I believe in aliens that abduct people in the night and perform ghastly experiments on them, but because the story of the abduction is so similar to fairy abduction stories of yore, including missing time, bright lights, similar-looking creatures, and even the occasional sexual encounter.

So I began to wonder, back in the late 90s, about these similarities, and I wrote a story called “LTM” (for Long-Term Memory) in which I tried to create a “third mythology” that would explain the two experience archetypes and unite them into a single story. It was a bad story, full of passive voice and vague characters with no agency, and I don’t intend to share it with you (and it definitely hasn’t aged well; the men in black and UFO stories are straight out of the time it was written in and all hearken back to The X-Files).

Then I began to wonder about ghosts, demons, and other paranormal entities, and about the human brain’s ability to misinterpret what’s happening around it and tell a story to itself about what it experiences when it doesn’t quite understand what it’s experiencing. I can’t think of any examples off the top of my head, but this is a personal blog so I don’t have to. But maybe there’s something going on or something that the brain sees that it doesn’t understand so it pulls into its cultural background and assigns a story to that input. If one person sees, say, a strange face lurking above them in the dark, they may say “Ghost!” because that’s what they’re used to thinking about when it comes to such things, while another may say “Demon!”. Furthermore, even among the people who say “Ghost!” there might be those who believe the ghost they see has malevolent intention, and some will believe it’s benign.

So maybe there is some sort of external event going on that we can’t interpret, so we assign cultural archetypes to it. Perhaps there something that causes us to see flashing lights, feel like we’re floating, and like we’re seeing bizarre creatures doing awful things to us. In pre-movie times, when we had no cultural story about aliens, we would interpret such events as fairy abductions. In our modern era, where we don’t think about fairies as existing but we have aliens built into our cultural milieu at all levels, we think of alien abductions. Personally, I’m inclined to think that such events are purely phenomenological in nature: entirely within the mind. I’m open to the possibility that something external is going on, but I haven’t seen any evidence that there is.

Anyway. This is the sort of thing that my brain thinks of at this time of year (well, at any time of year, but Halloween season brings it out more fully.

What goes on in your mind during Halloween season?

A Thought for the Ontologically Inclined

The other day I was watching Mighty Mouse (one of our foster kittens) playing with a little felt ball in the kitten room. She’d pick up the toy in her mouth, run around with it for a bit, drop it, bap at it, run after it, pick it up again, then run around like mad with it in her mouth again. It was incredibly silly, and very cute.

So I got to thinking about the toy itself and what it represented in Mouse’s brain. Cats are primarily predators (except possibly for Nutmeg, our 16-pound “potato cat”), so many of their play behaviors would be hunting behaviors in the wild. So what, to Mouse, did that little felt toy represent? A bug? A bird? A mouse? Some other small mammal? I mean, she clearly knew it wasn’t food, since she wasn’t eating it, but something about that toy was definitely triggering her latent hunting behavior.

From there, my brain, as it is wont to do, spun on to the same question but about human brains. What high-level behaviors of ours are actually representative of something else? I don’t mean simple symbology, such as looking at the Washington Memorial and thinking of — Well, you know. I mean those higher-level “noble” pursuits that we make so much of. Let’s say science, for example. We as a civilization1 pursue science pretty doggedly (cattedly?), and we’ve made great strides in our understanding of the cosmos and how it works.

So, my question to you is: are there yet higher-level orders of consciousness that could look down on us, view those ideals which we strive for, and wonder what they represent for us? We humans watch the cat play with a felt ball, and figure that the felt ball represents a bug; what would the aliens of Trafalmadore think we’re pursuing when we think we’re pursuing science?

Watching cats frequently makes me ponder the nature of human intelligence and the limits of our consciousness.

I know, this question is an easy one, one that should go up on Facebook or Twitter. I just want to save it here on my own blog.

More adventures in spam

About a week ago, I received an email in my spam folder that had the subject line “rscrawford: XXXXXXXXXXXX” where that long line of Xs was the deprecated password of a website I rarely visit and which I knew had been compromised at one point. The email was wordy and poorly written, but the gist of it was something along the lines of, “I know what you did and I recorded it and I’ll send it out to every person in your contacts list unless you pay me $7,000 in BitCoin currency,” along with a link were I could send that currency.

This amused me, since, really, I have nothing to hide. I thought about writing back with a message to that effect — “Go on, do your worst!” — but I know it’s never a good idea to engage with these kinds of people. I mean, I know President Trump is doing his best to end unfair and unjust discrimination against the idiotic criminal class, but, still.

Meanwhile, I’ve had bronchitis for something like two weeks now. The breathing is better now, though the cough remains. The Prednisone remains fun stuff to take. When I get sick for this long, I tend to get emotional. Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Lisa runs away and Homer holds her saxophone? Yeah, that one did me in.

And yesterday while working I had Young Frankenstein playing in the background. And when it came to the scene where the creature, having just performed “Puttin’ on the Ritz”, panicked at the sight of a flame and was dragged away by the police… Yeah, I started crying at that as well.

A co-worker of mine tells me that their reaction to Prednisone is exactly the opposite of mine: for them, the drug causes euphoria, energy, and hyperactivity. This is unfair. I’m going to file a complaint somewhere.

We’re still fostering kittens. After Delilah and Fern were adopted, the fostering agency sent us eight (8) to foster. That was about a month ago, I guess, and now we’re down to one. Mouse is a feisty orange and white kitten, lots of love and lots of energy and personality. I was sure she’d be adopted her first week at placement, but that didn’t happen.

The writing is continuing. I’ve finished the Evil Barf Draft of my fantasy story involving fossil hunters in America’s Gilded Age of the late 19th century. I am going to be pushing it to get The Solitude of the Tentacled Space Monster and Padma done by their due dates, but that’s okay. Last minute panic is a great motivator.

I’m also drafting a contemporary (well, set in the 1930s) fantasy involving jazz music and baseball, and I’m in the early stages of putting together a “noblebright” (as opposed to “grimdark”) fantasy story for an anthology that I’d love to be published in. All that, on top of my goal of keeping six active submissions going all at the same time, is keeping me mighty busy. Good for me.

What’s on your plate or your mind?

 

So…. Here’s what’s been happening

Since last we saw our hero:

Suffered a major crisis at work. Yes, our server went down. Totally down. As in, nothing there. No backups after July 2017, and thank God that was there. The other programmer and I managed to recover just about everything we lost, and I’ve taken Measures to make sure it never happens again, but you know that feeling when you look at your server status and see “Terminated”? Yeah, that sucks.

Lost weight. I’m down thirty pounds from my heaviest ever. In another pound or two I’ll reward myself with another classic Universal monster movie. Not Frankenstein. I’m saving that one. No, it’s probably going to be WolfmanCreature from the Black Lagoon was a neat movie. The sequels, not so much.

Written. Okay, not so much. I’m stuck in one particular scene in The Solitude of the Tentacled Space Monster and have decided to move on and write a different scene, but I’ll have to come back to the problematic one at some point. And while I haven’t done much of anything on “Sauromancy” for some time, at least I’ve created a playlist for it that has been inspiring me. I blame Michael Crichton, though. That bastard had my idea before me, and now I’m stuck.

Fostered. Jennifer and I are fostering two cats right now: a mama cat and her kitten. For awhile, Mama was in heat, and that was… annoying. More to Jennifer than to me, since Mama yowled mostly at night and while I can sleep pretty much through anything Jennifer can’t. She (the cat) has been spayed now, and the nighttime yowl has stopped. The kitten, Fern, is awfully cute, with her big ears and paws, and has already been spoken for.

In other news, I’m thinking about starting up a Patreon account. I still have asthma, but that’s doing well these days. I also still have Bipolar II, but that’s leaving me alone right now. I’m pondering signing up for an MFA program.

And that’s about it.

Sundry

I’m not sure why this is happening to me, but by my estimate I’ve now received five spam emails over the course of a year advertising “quick and easy” sex changes. This is not something I’ve pondered. This is not something I’ve ever hunted for online. I’ve never inquired into the possibility with my physician, nor mentioned in passing to any of my friends. I doubt I’ve ever clicked on an ad that would send me these messages.

I’m starting to become curious in spite of myself…


Writing continues, though I’ve fallen pretty far behind in both Solitude of the Tentacled Space Monster and “Sauromancy”, my two current projects. I had a good conversation with my friend Michael recently who helped me gain some much-needed perspective on my career as a writer, and who has been encouraging me to have at least two novels (or at least their outlines) ready by WorldCon in August. STSM (or at least a first draft thereof) will definitely be done by then and I’ll have a solid outline of Padma by then as well.

Have I mentioned that Solitude of the Tentacled Space Monster is basically a rewrite of my 2005 NaNoWriMo novel, Fred Again? Because it is.

Speaking of NaNoWriMo, two weeks ago I officially submitted the form to not be a Municipal Liaison for our region this year. I started MLing in 2007, which means I’ve got eleven years of it under my belt. I still haven’t decided whether I’m even going to do NaNoWriMo this year. I like the camaraderie and company that I get during November, but I also feel like I’ve gotten all I’m going to get from it, after having participated for sixteen (!) years.

This seems like a good place to mention that I’ve moved things around and added a couple of pieces to my Writing site (linked to above).


Weight Loss is coming along, slower than I would like, but it’s happening. I’ve set up some non-food rewards for myself for every ten pounds that I lose. The rewards are mostly DVDs of the classic Universal horror monster movies; last week I purchased The Creature from the Black Lagoon, because I loved that movie when I was a kid and because I have a story idea that involves the Creature.

I also bought a FitBit Alta, one of the models that fits around your wrist, because my Zip, the one that slips into your pocket, cracked and stopped working and new ones are on back order, shipping within two to three weeks. Which is a lot for someone like me, who grew up in the 80s and its instant gratification culture.

am eating healthier foods, at least. And I’ve got some special tasks in Habitica to help me keep on track.


So that’s what I’ve got going on in my life right now. What about you?

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