"Nothing has changed, you know."

"Huh?"

"I said, nothing’s changed."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, look at yourself. You’re trying to cop a new attitude. You’re trying to fix your thinking. You’re making a desperate attempt to get over yourself."

"What, like that’s not good?"

"It would be good if it meant something."

"Ah."

"I mean, so you’ve decided it’s okay to be who you are. Today you even went to the library to check out Chinese literature and Tibetan music, things you’ve never really explored before, right?"

"Uh huh."

"And so what? You’re still a failure, you know. But now you’re a failure with a positive attitude."

"I don’t know, that Tibetan music is pretty cool."

"Yes, but instead of being out playing around, you could have been back at home, learning new skills and figuring out how to program a JDBC-enabled JSP application to interface with your Linux box to make real-time connections between your website and your computer at home. The employers would LOVE you if you pulled that off!"

"Um…"

"Not to mention all that studying you should be doing to get your career in gear."

"I…"

"Oh, that’s right. You’ve decided to put your career hunt on hold because your obsession with it was taking over your life, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Hah! What a wuss. See these trees?"

"What about them?"

"Don’t they kind of remind you of when you were working in Portland and had a chance at getting a career because of some lucky break that your old boss decided to give you? You could have had a real career, you know, if you hadn’t frittered away your college years."

"How’s that again?"

"See? Loser! Loooooser! Having a better attitude about things doesn’t change the fact that you’re a LOSER!"

"Yeah, but it’s a nice day, the back roads between Dixon and Vacaville are beautiful… And I will hopefully be volunteering to do literacy tutoring again. And I’ve just started a new story this morning."

"So what? Get your ass in gear. Get a career! Get a life!"

"Shut up."

"Make me."

Sigh. See what I have to put up with?