Ireland/UK 2001

Next Stop

Current Location: Edinburgh, Scotland

I don’t know what it is this morning. Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten comfortable here in Edinburgh and I’m nervous about leaving today. Maybe it’s because I have seen Jennifer in nearly a month and I’m getting homesick. Maybe it’s because I haven’t really had a friend or someone to talk to for more than an hour at a time since A– and I went our separate ways last week. Maybe it’s because I only have ten days left on this trip, at least four of those will probably be spent on the train, and I still have quite a bit that I want to see and do. Maybe it’s because one of my co-workers has informed me (through Jennifer) that sixteen people have been laid off from the company I work for (my own job, apparently, is quite secure), and I’m just not looking forward to going back to work in that place and dealing with the atmosphere there and all of the extra work that will be assigned to me in the absence of recently laid off developers. Maybe it’s because I’m feeling overwhelmed by the impending workload, both professional and personal, that’s awaiting me, ready to descend upon me when I return.

There’s so much left to do. In the next ten days I need to work out how to get up to the city of Tain, then to York in England, then to London, and then to Amsterdam. With a stop in Belgium to pick up the chocolate that I’ve promised quite a few people. I’m told over and over again by people around here that it won’t be a problem to make all of this work, but at the same time I can’t help but be nervous. It’s in my nature.

And, of course, with the wedding less than two months away, there is a lot that needs to be done for that as well. Jennifer tells me, "Don’t expect to get to relax when you come back home; there’s a lot that we have to accomplish before the wedding."

Whatever the reason (it might be as simple as me being tired), I’m feeling homesick, sad, and lonely this morning. I’ve got a five-hour train ride this afternoon to another strange city where I won’t know anyone and where I’m not sure I have a place to stay. Then again, I was not sure of accommodations when I arrived in Edinburgh either.

Ten more days to go (not including June 3, which is reserved entirely for the flight back home). I’m finding myself feeling both sad and happy about that.