Shooting Zombies at Dusk: Or, Five Reasons Why My Wife Is Cooler than Yours

So the other evening, I went out into our back yard to hang my laundry out to dry. I came back inside to hear the sounds of gunfire, screaming, and high-speed industrial music emanating from our living room. This would probably have been alarming to some people, I suppose, but I wasn’t at all dismayed; I simply knew that Jennifer was in the living room, playing House of the Dead. When I approached, she smiled distractedly, not looking away from the dying zombies and monsters that were oozing green blood, and pointed at the other light pistol, which she had gotten out of the box but not plugged in. I sat down next to her, plugged in the light gun, clicked "Start" and began shooting.

Marrying Jennifer was the smartest thing I’ve ever done. There are many reasons why this is true, but here are the top five reasons why I’m convinced that this was a good idea:

  1. She Cooks. Jennifer actually seems to like cooking. And even though I tell her it isn’t necessary to prepare dinner every night, she does so anyway. And she’s a good cook, too.
  2. She’s Funny. Strange things just pop out of her mouth sometimes, like when she called the cats "fuzzy window beans". I have no idea what it means, and I don’t think she does either, but it made me laugh.
  3. She’s Brilliant. Apart from being smart enough to have the incredibly good judgement to marry me (either that, or someone slipped in a frontal lobotomy somewhere when she wasn’t looking), she’s one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met, and she’s not afraid to show it. And I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone else who reads as fast as she does.
  4. She Plays "House of the Dead". It goes without saying that a wife who plays shoot-em-up games with you which feature zombies oozing green gore is just cool. In fact, she was the one who insisted that we buy the game, as well as the DreamCast system to play it on (and who knows? maybe one day we’ll even buy another game for the DreamCast).
  5. She’s Just That Cool. There aren’t many guys in the world who are lucky enough to find someone like Jennifer, let alone be fortunate enought to marry them. I try to tell her often how I feel and how much I appreciate her, but sometimes I need to say these things in a public forum as well.

Thanks for everything, Jennifer. I love you more than anything.

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