National Geographic News is reporting that a mysterious "swarm" of earthquakes has struck the Oregon border. According to the news story, more than six hundred of these little quakes have struck a region about 30 miles across, about 190 miles off the coast of Oregon. Theories abound about the cause these quakes; there could be a volcano in the area, geologists say, or some unusual tectonic activity in the middle of the Juan de Fuco plate. A group of scientists are headed out on a three day cruise this weekend to examine the area and see if they can figure out what’s going on.

For someone as well-versed in Lovecraftian lore as I am, there’s no mystery here at all. This is obviously R’yleh getting ready to rise up from the depths, so that Cthulhu and the rest of the Ancient Old Ones can reclaim their dominion over Earth from humanity.

Or possibly Godzilla.  Maybe Cloverfield.

It just seems unlikely to me that a tectonic plate, which is by definition rigid in the interior, could be experiencing tectonic or volcanic activity. The only possible explanation is that some horrific event involving giant monsters is about to be unleashed upon the world. The scientists and the government probably already know this; the "scientific expedition" is more likely a sacrificial one.

Hey, you got your conspiracy theories, I got mine.