The Zombie Menace in Sacramento

While zombies are apparently wreaking havoc and devastation worldwide, here in Sacramento, California, life seems to be going on as normal. For the most part, at least. I mean, it’s California. When you’re undead and bored and you’ve exhausted the cerebral eateries in the rest of the continent, where else are you going to go for some sun and surf? The beaches, right.

Still, California does definitely have its share of problems. We’re a tolerant, open, and accepting society, full of compassion and acceptance for all our residents, living, dead, and undead. We seem to be attracting a mellower sort of zombie as well. Our zombies are not about tracking down people and eating their brains; ours are about getting equal rights.

Getting to work in downtown Sacramento this morning was, as I’d anticipated, more difficult than normal. The streets near the capitol building were thronged with protesters all trying to get Governor Schwarzenegger’s attention, to bring the plight of the undead to the open for the world to see. We recently legalized gay marriage, so this sort of approach is perfectly understandable.

I didn’t get any pictures of my own but I did find these photographs elsewhere on the web to share with you. These were all taken in Sacramento today and I saw a few of them myself.

First, this one:

STOP TRYING TO BURY US, the sign reads. Obviously these zombies want the world to know about their plight, about how the rest of the world is treating them. We’re living beings, they want us to know, or at least animate. Don’t force us underground!

Other more radical groups had a stronger message:

REanimated REvolution. In the background a pair of the walking dead carry signs that read, "WANT BRAINES" and "MOAN", which certainly get their point across. Personally I’m uncomfortable with these zombie extremists. I prefer a more moderate solution.

Another crowd of zombie protesters:

"THE DEAD HAVE RIGHTS TOO!" Well, yes, of course they do. That much is obvious. I’m more amused by the other sign in this photograph, obviously meant as a jab at the Republican lawmakers in California who refuse to allow equal rights to the metabolically challenged: "GIVE ME YOUR BRAINS… YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T NEED THEM."

I suppose I should have seen this coming. After all, as I reported yesterday, there were some panels at the Moodle Moot conference that were obviously geared to address the needs of the walking dead to pursue an active online existence. Last night I signed up with a Zombie Friends account (where my handle is, naturally, "underpope") but I haven’t really done anything with it yet.

What do you think of this situation? Michelle Malkin, that paragon of intelligence and civility, refers to the zombies as "The Undead Menace", and also says, "Better Dead then Z" (which sounded better when Simon Pegg said it in Shaun of the Dead, since he pronounced it "Better Dead than Zed"). I find it difficult to agree with her just on general principle. The walking dead are, after all, sensitive creatures, in need of understanding and acceptance in our society. On the other hand, they do eat living brains.

I’m going to leave the topic alone for now, because it’s sounding dangerously like a political discussion and I really hate talking politics.

In other news, I’ve been having trouble connecting to Moodle’s download servers all day. I hope the sysadmins are still alive in San Francisco.

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