I found the above quote about three years ago when I was looking up information about Jim Henson, just for the hell of it. Jim Henson is one of the very few people outside of my family whose death made me cry; and I had seen a biography on television about him and decided that I was going to do some research about him on my own. I have always admired the great storytellers; George Lucas, J. R. R. Tolkein, among others. And Jim Henson, I thought, did a wonderful job of creating imaginary worlds that reflected positively on our own. I discovered the above quote, and found it very inspirational. Since I found it, it’s been on every incarnation of my personal website, and I’ve tried to live up to it. Sometimes I succeed. More often, I fail. I am usually fairly positive about about the world around me and about the people around me, but I frequently fail in being positive about my work. It’s an attitude thing, boy, and changing attitudes ain’t like dustin’ crops. It’s something that needs to be worked on. Daily. It was very hard for me to maintain a positive attitude towards work this past week, but after two relatively light days spent at home instead of in Portland or in the office in Sacramento, it’s easier. A lot easier.

Speaking of Jim Henson, I saw Muppets From Space the other day on HBO. I’d never seen that film before, and I enjoyed it. Of course, the original Muppet Movie is the best of all of the muppet films, in my opinion, but they’re all a lot of fun. The only thing that I wasn’t thrilled with about Muppets From Space was having the mystery of Gonzo removed. After all, what’s life without a little mystery?

Speaking of movies, last night I took my best friend, his wife, and their housemate to see the re-release of The Exorcist. I’ve always been creeped out by that movie (and anyone who knows me knows that I love horror movies and being creeped out); but The Exorcist is a hell of a lot scarier when you see it on the big screen. There was one scene which had been deleted from the original release but was restored in this version which made my friend turn to me and say, "Richard, that was probably the scariest scene I have ever seen in any film. Ever." I would have to agree; the scene in The Sixth Sense with the little girl (you know which one I mean) was the only scene in any movie that actually made me cry out when I saw it, but this scene in The Exorcist was one of the most disturbing I’ve ever seen. I’m not going to reveal it here, because you (a) have already seen the re-release and know exactly what I’m talking about; or, (b) haven’t seen it and don’t want it spoiled; or, (c) don’t intend on ever seeing it and don’t really care to know what scene I’m talking about.

On a different note entirely. One thing that I miss greatly is running role-playing games like Advanced Dungeons and Dragons or Vampire: The Masquerade. I miss creating vivid and complex worlds — sometimes horrifying, sometimes ludicrous, usually, at least, interesting — and allowing other people to explore them. Creating new worlds on the spot for my players to explore was always a fun and interesting challenge, and it was always exciting to see the look on someone’s face when they "got" something that was going on in my head. I love creating new stories and plots and situations for players to examine and investigate. I told my friends last night that I am considering reviving a particular game that I had run last year called Unfallen — it was probably the most complex plot I’d ever devised for a role-playing game, and I was very proud of how I’d set up the scenario, but the game went on indefinite hold because half of my players left town. Alas, though, I think that my days of running long, involved role-playing games are probably over.

Or perhaps not. Unfallen may find new life as a novel instead of a role-playing game, but I still have some stories inside of me that would best be told to a few people who are willing to explore them with me.

Jennifer will be home in less than two hours. I’ve loved a lot of people in my life, some of them very deeply, and all of the people that I’ve loved have made an indelible impression on me, and I’m a better person for having loved all of them. But I can honestly say that I’ve never loved anyone as deeply as I love Jennifer. In the past when I have lived with women that I’ve loved, I’ve always looked forward to having time to myself; when one of them went on a three-day conference in another state, I was thrilled at having the house to myself and having the time to do anything I wanted. But with Jennifer, it’s entirely different; I enjoy my solitude and the time I can spend with myself, but I much prefer having her there. She actually enhances my life in ways I’d never imagined possible. This is a rare feeling. And I know how incredibly lucky I am to have found her.

Hey, I never promised that every journal entry would be coherent, or, indeed, at all interesting…