I’m surrounded on all sides by deceit and duplicity!

A couple of weeks ago, Jennifer told me that we were going to have dinner with our friend D– and her partner, and that we were going to go out to an Indian restaurant and have salmon tandoori. I’m never one to pass up salmon tandoori, and I enjoy D–‘s company quite a bit. And then the other afternoon, Jennifer told me that we needed to stop at S–‘s house on the way to dinner to drop off some garb so that S– would have an outfit to wear to the wedding.

"No problem," I said. "I like S– and I haven’t seen her in ages."

I should have known something was up right then. S– is taller even than me, standing at 5’10" or so, while Jennifer stands at just about 5’3". If I’d been thinking at all, I would have realized that Jennifer’s skirts would never fit on S– without significant alteration.         So on Saturday night, we piled into Jennifer’s car to head out to Davis. As we pulled up in front of S–‘s house, I saw my old friend J– walking up to her front door. "What a coincidence," I thought. "I haven’t seen J– in at least five years, and I had just gotten in touch with him by e-mail a couple of weeks ago." I still didn’t make any sort of connection.

Since Jennifer was driving, I suggested that I would hop out of the car and drop off the bag of materials she’d given me and hand them to S–. It would give me a moment to say hi to both J– and S– before rushing off to dinner with D–.

So I got out of the car and walked up to the front step. I went inside to give S– a quick hug, and saw my best man, two of the groomsmen, and another old friend all in her living room. Even then, I had no clue. I just assumed that they were all over at S–‘s house to play Dungeons and Dragons or something — all of my friends are gamers, and S– has always been kind of a gaming central in Davis.

Then I saw Jennifer drive away through the front window. So that’s when I turned to my best man and said, "What’s going on?"

"I finally got you back," he told me.

And that’s when I knew that I was at the center of a web of lies and conspiracy, and that tonight was going to be the traditional last night of debauchery and rowdiness that every groom-to-be goes through a week or so before the wedding.

I deserved it, of course. When my best man got married and I was his best man, I arranged for a large party at my house. I got a couple of our friends to go with me to his house (he lived in Sacramento at the time), and we took him to lunch and a movie, claiming that that was his bachelor party. Then we brought him back to my house to work on a creative project that we were all working on at the time. Another of our friends was already waiting for us there. Even then, he had no idea what was going on until his own brothers showed up, followed some time later by the stripper.

And that is pretty much what happened to me that night. Jennifer had cleverly snuck my medicines for that night and the next morning in to the bag that she’d given me, the bag full of "garb" for S–; she’d been in on it the whole time.

I can’t really talk in detail about what happened the rest of that night. Jennifer knows all, of course, and so do one or two other people outside of who was actually there. Suffice to say that the entertainment I’d provided for my friend’s bachelor party was repeated for mine. The stripper was talented and put on a good show, and the alcohol was plentiful. There was good music, good conversation, and I had a great time.

Jennifer came the next afternoon when I was mostly recovered and took me home. As we drove away I thought about my friends and about the wedding and about my life with Jennifer. I had a great time, of course. And I love my friends for putting it all together and for making me the object of their conspiracy and web of deceit. And now, more than ever, I am ready for the wedding and to spend the rest of my life with Jennifer.

After all, how could I not love someone who is willing to trust me with a month by myself in Europe (even knowing that part of my time there would be spent with my friend A–, a single woman), and who would conspire with my friends to throw me a party which included a stripper and all sorts of debauchery?

Sorry guys. She’s spoken for.

On another note entirely, I’ve completed another minor enhancement to this website: my current reading list, which is database-driven so that all I need to do is update my reading list in my database and the most current books will show up on my main page, on my Library page, and to the right of my journal entries. There may be no use to you for this information, but I think it’s pretty spiffy.