Why Is This So Freakin' Hard?

I can sit down and churn out a three-page document summarizing some new features of a software product that I’ve helped develop. Within minutes I can spew out a humorous e-mail inviting all of our friends to a Hallowe’en party. And all throughout college I could sit down and write a paper or an essay or a thesis with little effort. Really, it was that simple.

But here I am now trying to write my personal statement for library school… and facing a writer’s block like you wouldn’t believe. This this thing is huge. Imagine some chunk of ice or something about the size of one of those giant icebergs that break off from the Antarctic ice cap once in awhile and wanders about, sinking unsinkable ships and confusing the hell out of a flock of penguins who suddenly discover themselves floating hundreds of miles away from home with no warning.

Imagine that block of ice sitting on your keyboard. Mocking you. Taunting you. Daring you to write one word, one bloody word, that will demonstrate “your interest in the program and how getting an MLIS degree will help your career.”

I have all my thoughts down. I have a draft, unreadable though it is. I know what points I want to cover, and in what order I want to cover them. Really, all that’s left is to just start writing it.

But for some reason I just can’t. Over the past week I’ve written something like a dozen false starts and scrapped them all. Yesterday I finally wrote up a draft that I was more or less happy with, but decided that there was still a lot of work to do on it.

It’s only two to three pages, fer crying out loud! I write more than that when I’m planning out a Dungeons and Dragons game!

Ah, well.

Today, while Jennifer is off in Contra Costa County for a meeting (which I’ll be attending on Thursday), I finished filling out the rest of the application: filling out the forms, tracking down professors to list on the application itself, double-checking my old transcripts, and so on. But now I’m done with that, so I better just finish that essay.

Okay, now I’m done ranting for the day. Wish me luck. Hopefully, I will finish this essay before the end of the day. Then I shall reward myself by possibly installing Movable Type on my server.

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