Perl and Me

Prologue: Yesterday, in my Live Journal, giddy with excitement over having finished a major project, I wrote, “Perl is my bitch.” I should have known better.

Me: Okay, Perl, let’s get busy. Yesterday we figured out how to move files from one server to another one file at a time. Today let’s work out how to move more than one at a time.

Perl: Okay.

Me: So, let’s do it. Here, move these files.

Perl: Nope.

Me: Please?

Perl: Nope.

Me: Okay, let’s try another approach.

Perl: Uh uh.

Me: C’mon, I’ll give you a nice little upgrade if you work with me on this.

Perl: I refuse.

Me: What?

Perl: You heard me. Fuck this, I’m going to take a nap.

Me: No, you can’t! We’re on a deadline! This was supposed to be done yesterday!

Perl: Yawn. Like I care.

Me: You bastard! Okay, here, have a major code rewrite!

Perl: Oh, neat. Watch me crash.

Me: NO!!

Perl: In fact, I think I’ll take all these files with me!

Me: You’re kidding!

Perl: Yeah, I’m just kidding.

Me: Oh, thank God.

Perl: Bwah ha ha haaa!! I wasn’t kidding!! Watch those files evaporate into electronic mist!

Me: Hah! I have those files backed up on our old development server! Nice try!

Perl: Oh, poop.

Me: Okay, I’ll pull out a majority of your code base and replace it with something I know works. Try that on for size!

Perl: Clunk.

Me: Um. Oops.

Perl: Clunk.

Me: Oh, come on! Let go of those files!

Perl: Don’t want to. They’re mine, all mine. I’ve done a total permissions change on them and now you can’t touch them!

Me: Oh my god.

Perl: Who’s the bitch now?

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