The squirrels have already made their opening moves:
- Demon squirrel attacks motorcyclist!
- Squirrel attacks 3 at a San Jose, CA, school!
- Squirrel attacks shoppers in Florida!
- Also in Florida, squirrel responsible for power outages!
- Squirrel attacks and injures 3 in Germany!
- And this is probably the worst of all: Squirrels desecrate graves of US veterans!
Are you ready?
Thanks to Making Light for the heads up.
Squirrel, though I like to look at them, are nothing more than rats getting an easy shake from society because they have cute fluffy tails. I remember reading about some squirrels in a Russian park that were actually running about in a pack and killing dogs – for real. Creepy little bastards they are.
The worst part about the whole thing is that my wife and I are about to move into an older home in downtown Sacramento. Where there are lots of trees.
Trees inhabited by SQUIRRELS!!!
No squirrels round this part of the world, so I guess we’re safe. Which is good, since I’ve only just got everything cleaned up from the zombies last week.
We don’t have many squirrel issues in our current home, which is new enough so that the trees are still unattractive to their kind. The house I lived in before this one didn’t have any squirrel issues either, but only because the possums took them out.
Ground Squirrels like the one with the bazooka above actually still carry the bubonic plague fleas in some parts of the SouthWest and Western US. Aren’t they just the cutest thing?!
Thanks for the health tip! But this, of course, begs the question of which is more dangerous: squirrels with plague, or squirrels with bazookas?
I hear that lawn gnomes eat squirrels. You might want to consider installing a perimeter defensive squad armed with Phase Plasma Rifles, 40w range. Remember, a well equipped Lawn Gnome Militia with a Pink Jackalope Cavalry detachment can solve most of your issues.
BTW, I actually was nearly done in by a squirrel in midtown that tried to drop a hubcap on my head, followed by a piece of concrete.